Friday, January 2, 2009

My New Year's Resolutions

1. Eat healthy and exercise...starting around Martin Luther king Day...or maybe Ground Hog's Day. Pulaski Day at the latest.
2. Send out the Christmas cards I meant to send out last month by Thanksgiving this year.
3. Pay off my 2005 Ford Focus. Then trade it in and go deeper in debt to buy a real car.
4. Spend more quality time with my family.
5. Spend less time with my family.
6. Remember to keep interesting reading material in the bathroom cabinet.
7. Stop drinking so much Miller Lite Beer. Switch to Miller Genuine Draft 68 calorie Ultra Lite Beer.
8.Stop coveting my neighbour's wife, neighbour's house, his field, his man-servant, his maid-servant, his ox, and his ass.
יז וְלֹא תַחְמֹד, אֵשֶׁת רֵעֶךָ; {ס} וְלֹא תִתְאַוֶּה בֵּית רֵעֶךָ, שָׂדֵהוּ וְעַבְדּוֹ וַאֲמָתוֹ שׁוֹרוֹ וַחֲמֹרוֹ, וְכֹל, אֲשֶׁר לְרֵעֶךָ. {ס}
9. STOP the WAR in IRAQ. Or is it an occupation? Maybe a police action?
10. Promote my plan to spread Democracy in the Middle East by sending Michigan's laid off social studies teachers and re-educated former auto workers to teach high school civics and current events in Iraq and the West Bank.
11. Floss.
12. Learn how to do the Cupid Shuffle to impress my high school age students.
13. Send in my 2008 dues to the ACLU and the American Friends Service Committee.
14. Make the time to watch more TV.
15. Start picking WINNING lottery numbers.
16. Blog less. Or maybe more.

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