Wednesday, December 31, 2008

"That's just the surface manifestation of the enormous amount of heat that's being released through the system,"

"Volcanologists may or may not be the worst scientists in the world at making predictions, but they are without question the worst in the world at realizing how bad their predictions are." Bill Bryson in A Short History of Nearly Everything

From Although visitors to Yellowstone National Park in the immediate future may never experience such events, some hazardous events are certain to occur in the future. However, Yellowstone Volcanic Observatory scientists are monitoring volcanic activity in the region in an effort to alert the public well in advance of any major volcanic eruptions, to ensure public safety.

From The Associated Press:A park ranger based at the north end of the lake reported feeling nine quakes over a 24-hour period over the weekend, according to park spokeswoman Stacy Vallie. No damage was reported.
"There doesn't seem to be anything to be alarmed about," Vallie said.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Judge Dread

I often complain that the Republocrats and the Demublicans are two wings of the same party, but the next appointment to the Supreme Court is one that will most likely reveal some legitimate party differences. A few weeks ago I suspected that Mrs. Clinton would be the most likely to get the job, but it seems she's willing to brave the gunfire traveling around the world as Secretary of State.
There's no doubt that the next Supreme will be female. I doubt that she, whoever it is, will have had to put up with the same sexism that Sandra Day O'Connor did back in the conservative golden age of the 1950s. A quick review of Wikipedia shows that O'Connor graduated toward the top of her Stanford law class (and at one point dated class valedictorian William Rehnquist) but no law firm in California would hire her, although one firm offered her the opportunity to be a legal secretary. Young Ms. O'Connor had no choice but to turn to working for the government.

Economy is in the toilet

Maybe John McCain's explanation of the looming recession as being "psychological" back during the primaries wasn't too far fetched.
Thirty five years ago today, congressman Harold Froelich claimed that the federal government was falling behind in getting bids to supply toilet paper and "The United States may face a serious shortage of toilet tissue within a few months".
Johnny Carson repeated the claim in his monologue: "You know what's disappearing from the supermarket shelves? Toilet paper. There's an acute shortage of toilet paper in the United States." By noon the next day, most stores were out of toilet paper. Carson apologized for scaring the public, and retracted his quote. The full story is available from

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Your Liberal Marching Orders for the WAR ON CHRISTMAS

Four years ago I would listen to Morning Sedition on the way to work. Occasionally co-host Marc Maron would sign off by reading a fax sent from the Streisand compound with the day's Liberal Agenda. I've revised a few of his old items so that they fit the needs of today's modern socialist/Democrat.
1. Repeatedly refer to Christmas as "Revive Our Floundering Economy Day."
2. Have hot and nasty age appropriate consensual gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgender physical expressions of unconditional positive regard under the mistletoe.
3. Establish full diplomatic relations with the Island of Misfit Toys without any pre-conditions.
4. At the office Christmas/Hannukah/Solstice/Ramadan/Indigenous People's Day party, prevent drunken co-workers from hooking up by continually talking about global warming and the plight of the people in Zimbabwe.
5. Watch It's A Wonderful Life and imagine what the world would be like if George W. Bush had never been elected president. Wait a minute...I mean if all the votes in Florida and Ohio had been counted.
6. Adjust the lights on your neighbors' Christmas displays to read YES WE CAN and CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN!
7. Make sure that the Baby Jesuses in your local Nativity displays are infants of color.
8. Tell your kids that Obama is their Christmas present.
9. Today's phrase....just drop it in any conversation...."You know what the special ingredient is in egg nog? IT'S MAD COW!!! LOOK IT UP PEOPLE!!! IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP MAN!!!"

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Meine Frau has gone through the kids' books and weeded out all the inappropriate titles. Most were pop culture series: Ricky Ricotta's Mighty Robot, Rugrats, Powerpuff Girls and young adult Star Wars novels have all been bagged and removed from the house. At the top of the list were the many Captain Underpants books, although I suspect my six year old has hidden one or two that escaped my wife's notice.

The Twinkie Defense

Today I had breakfast at Burger King, including Diet Coke, Coke, Cinni-minis and a Whopper Jr. A few days ago I had a chocolate donut for breakfast and Ding Dongs for lunch, all washed down with Diet Pepsi and Coke Zero.
I decided to read up on "The Twinkie Defense," since it's doubtful I'll be able to see the new Sean Penn film MILK anytime soon. I was disappointed to find that the "Twinkie Defense," (arguing that eating too many Hostess products wreaks havoc on the chemical balance in the brain) is an urban legend. A psychiatrist in court contended that junk food consumption was proof of "diminished capacity," not the cause of it, so I guess it doesn't matter what I eat before I start to blog.

Politics as usual

An Illinois governor caught trying to sell a senate seat to the highest bidder. An Alaskan senator (fond of wearing Incredible Hulk ties) guilty of receiving unreported gifts. A New York governor indicted in a ho ho ho scandal. An anti-Gay Republican caught having a wide stance in an airport washroom. A moderately conservative Florida congressman vows to leave no congressional page unturned.

Which party is more corrupt? According to a blog posted on American Thinker, Democrats are 4 times (or 300%) more corrupt than Republicans. The blog relies on data from the National Taxpayers Union compiling convictions of major offenses by members of Congress from 1992-1999.
On the other hand (the one on the left) CREW lists the 20 most corrupt members of Congress and has the Republicans leading 13 to 7. No matter what your party affiliation, your bleeding heart or conservative principles are bound to be broken by a politician at some point.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


Forget Global warming, the real danger of pollution can be found here!

The male gender is in danger, evolution is being distorted by pollution, which damages genitals and the ability to have children according to the latest research being sensationalize in the UK press.
This follows recent American research claiming that baby boys born to women exposed to widespread chemicals in pregnancy are born with smaller penises.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

George Chesbro R.I.P.

I haven't read a Mongo the Magnificent mystery in years. Mongo was a dwarf, former circus performer, PhD (I think in criminology), gymnast, black belt in karate, and hardboiled private eye. I just read that Mongo's creator, George Chesbro, died last week.
I can't remember the titles or much of the plots of the Chesbro books that I read, but what sticks in my mind is that Chesbro's books seemed like guilty pleasures for liberals. The bad guys were crazed fundamentalist millionaires, the Shah of Iran's former body guards, and Stalinists posing as right wing politicians. If an enemy of the United States really wanted to mess this country up, they'd imitate Senator McCarthy or President George W. Bush, not Senator Obama.
Check out Chesbro at Myspace: