Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Week's Liberal Agenda

ATTENTION LIBERALS!!! I received next weeks's marching orders early (courtesy of Marc Maron via the Streisand Compound) so here they are...

1. Tell a group of pre-schoolersl the horrific details of the U.S. sponsored exploitation and near-genocide of Indigenous people here and around the globe.

2. When secretly sneaking out to get junk food from Burger King or Dairy Queen, bow down as low as possible to the royalty that works there.

3. Watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with your kids and identify the Porky Pig balloon float as gi-normous hot air gas bag Rush Limbaugh.

4. During Thanksgiving Grace humbly beseech the Goddess for passage of Single Payer Health Care.

5. Invite your tea-bagging birther in-laws to your house and self-righteously serve 20 pounds of organic Tofurkey then eat mouthful after mouthful of bean curd while forcing yourself to shout, "MMM mmm! This is delicious! I t doesn't get any better than this!"

6. Impress your sports obsessed acquaintances by analyzing the homo-erotic tension and symbolism of American Football.

7. Call the Blue Dog Democrats and thank them for NOTHING!

8. Unpack and display War on Christmas decorations.

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