Sunday, March 8, 2009

Money Part One

I got my pay stub Friday. So far I haven't earned enough money for federal taxes to be withheld in 2009, thanks in part to my $250 bi-weekly health insurance deduction.

Daughter # 2 asked if she could accompany me shopping. I'm sure she wants to add a few items to the cart. Maybe I'll show her the above video.
Disney is releasing a Schoolhouse Rock DVD of new cartoons about conservation at the end of this month. I wonder if it will feature things like failed levees, mudslides and tsunamis. Probably not, although I bet there'll be a polar bear and penguins.
I'd like the chance to update some of their old videos to reflect current practices. There's the one about the Constitution that could show how the Bush administration had modified certain sections regarding search and seizures and government surveillance. Just for fun, I'd try and work in a human pyramid of naked prisoners forced to masturbate and Old School Chicago Police interegation practices of Black suspects. Then there is this video:

Just think of how we would have to adapt this video to reflect today's Capitalist-run lemon socialism.
NEWSBOY: Extra! Extra! Latest Wall Street Bailout!
TALIKING PIGEON: Here's a quarter. Keep the change!
NEWSBOY:HEY! The paper costs 60 cents!

You gotta be cool

When you're walkin' on Wall Street
Like goin' to school
The big kids take your lunch money every day
And this is the rule
When you're walkin' on Wall Street
Buy low, sell fast
get the gov’ment to save yer ass
That's the Wall Street way
TALKING CAPITALIST PIGEON: When you use your money to make more money, that's called an investment. When you invest in a corporation, that means you own your own share of it, unless you’re a little person who pays taxes at the standard rate. You'll have to pay the money the Fed is giving us when the Chinese Communists cash in their T Bills.
The companies that manufacture things we use

Like condoms and DVDs and high-top shoes
are prisons and sweat shops across the ocean
away from intrusive federal regulation.

Ranting Pigeon: That's called "stock." Smart investors look to buy stock in a company based in the Cayman Islands or Quatar.

Here's a stock that's looking mighty good, I think.
Whiz Bang Beer -- that's my favorite drink.
Looks as if their sales are going up sky-high
In a depression, people need alcohol to get by.

MUTANT PIGEON (a SIGN THAT THESE ARE THE END TIMES): Oh, oh! Here's a dime. Keep the change. Stock prices go up and down so smart investors like me buy a little at a time every month. We network, cultivate connections, get information. That way, we can control the ups and downs. It's called "insider trading."
I don't wanna get hurt
When I'm walkin' on Wall Street
I could lose my shirt
Not to mention my laundered cash
So I stay alert
When I'm walkin' on Wall Street
Buy low, sell high
Take the biggest piece of the pie

NEWSBOY: Read all about it! Latest Wall Street flash: Economy on Verge of Collapse!

Well, I came out ahead
And I’m ready to bail
My golden parachute
Is startin' to sail
So remember the rule
When you're walkin' on Wall Street
Borrow and live high
don’t step in the bear pie
Defecating Pigeon: Here's a Euro. Keep the change.
That's the Wall Street way

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