Step Down Joe

Last night's unpresidential debate began with a raspy voiced President Joe Biden losing his train of thought and muttering something about “beating Medicare.” It was like watching a geriatric game of Mad Libs. There was a wave of psychic shock across the nation when Democratic viewers realized that Joe Biden's debate performance was going to confirm all the Trumpublicans' talk about him being out of touch and past his prime. It was like the moment you discover your favorite childhood cartoon is actually kind of terrible. You want to unsee it, but there it is, in all its cringe-worthy glory.

All through the debate, Biden could be seen on the split screen looking confused and unable to process what was happening. Donald Trump, on the other hand, was assertive, snarky, and (compared to previous debates) disciplined. Of course he also managed to spout a steady stream of lies, half-truths, and misinformation, which Biden either ignored or countered as effectively as a soggy noodle. When Biden tried to focus on Trump’s lies and distortions it often fell flat. Trump’s biggest whopper was accusing Democrats of taking “the life of a child in the eighth month, ninth month, even after birth.” Lies about evil liberals murdering babies may be common among Qanon followers on Twitter, but not in a presidential debate.

The debate closed with a ridiculous argument about each candidate's golfing ability, because of course it did. Why discuss important national issues when you can argue about who has a better handicap or has the manliest swing of a golf club? This morning after, die-hard Biden supporters are doing their best to gaslight voters, claiming Biden did well repeating memorized facts and talking points. They’re scolding anyone daring to suggest the Emperor might be prancing around without his pants. If this is what "doing well" looks like, I can't wait to see what "disaster" entails.