Writer's Block Aid

They say that history is written by the winners. And I used to believe that, until about seven years ago. That's when things started to get...weird. Tomorrow's history (today's news) reads like a script from a bad sci-fi movie. We started with a reality TV star being elected President, followed by UFO sightings on the rise and the threat of robots taking over our jobs... then the world!

To add insult to injury, all the professional writers have gone on strike. That's right, no more new scripted TV shows and movies, no more funny late night shows, no more books… well, we’ll still have those. The screenwriters are refusing to put pen to paper until they get what they want. And what do they want, you might ask? Well, it's the same thing that all of us want: a fair shake and a decent wage. Plus not being replaced by robots.

But what does this mean for the rest of us? It means that history is at even greater risk of losing the human touch. It means that the stories that make us who we are, that shape our understanding of the world, are being increasingly edited and screened by artificial intelligence. Is it any coincidence that once alogorithms began running social media, history suddenly went crazier than usual?

Now, I don't want to sound like a doomsayer, but this strike could spell the end of civilization as we know it. Without writers, how will we know what happened before us? How will we learn from our mistakes? How will we pass on our knowledge to future generations? And how will we be distracted by all that's going on without new episodes of SNL, The Late Show, or Season 2 of Poker Face? In summary, come back professional writers! Historical reality needs you! Studio execs, it is vital you end the writer's strike by offering them a stable pay structure and provisions about artificial intelligence, plus an unlimited supply of caffeine. They have a lot of catching up to do.