The Onion Oracle

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
January 17, 2001 Issue 37•01

WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."

President-elect Bush vows that "together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us."
"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

read the rest of the article:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

mad about science part deux

The new French-Swiss supercollider goes into operation this Wednesday.
http://public.web.cern.ch/public/en/LHC/LHC-en.html

Rappin' scientists assure us that the device will probably not destroy the Earth.

mad about science 1

Although France has learned to love nuclear power, the Germans aren't so sure. An article in Der Spiegel reveals the the "Asse-II mine," closed in 1964 and converted to an "experimental" nuclear facility in 1967, now officially holds up to 130,000 metal drums of radioactive waste,

" but highly radioactive plutonium had also been dumped in the mine, along with a number of nuclear fuel rods. Radioactivity readings there are at eight times the 'safe' level, some barrels have tipped over and rusted through, and the worry is that saltwater leaking from the mine is not just radioactive but might contaminate public water supplies. The mine has been known to leak brine since 1988. Some experts fear it may collapse altogether by 2014."

http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/0,1518,576027,00.html

Why Have Separation of Church and State?

Fighting Bob fest

Robert Marion La Follette, Sr. nicknamed "Fighting Bob" La Follette (June 14, 1855 – June 20, 1925) served as a Congressman, 20th Governor of Wisconsin (1901–1906), and REPUBLICAN Senator from Wisconsin (1905-1925). He ran for President in 1924 as a Progressive, carrying Wisconsin and 17% of the national popular vote.

"The underlying reason indeed why both parties have failed to take the people's side in the present crisis is that neither party can openly attack the real evils which are undermining representative government without convicting themselves of treachery to the voters during their recent tenure in office."

"Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely. It is commercial, imperialistic, ruthless. It tolerates no opposition. It is just as arrogant, just as despotic, in London, or in Washington, as in Berlin. The American Jingo is twin to the German Junker.... If there is no sufficient reason for war, the war party will make war on one pretext, then invent another."

http://fightingbob.com/

Sarah Palin...on a mission from God

Video of Sarah Palin's sermonizing on how God wants us to drill for oil:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/02/palins-church-may-have-sh_n_123205.html

Doublethink

Republicans say Democrat's are exploiting our VP nominee's kids...now look how cute they are!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/cvn_measure_of_a_nation_palin_family_politics

President Bush's Economics Lesson to Elitist Journalists

While I'm on Vacation, here's an old transcript from Roswell New Mexico
For Immediate Release: Office of the Press Secretary January 22, 2004
President's Remarks to the Press Pool Nothin' Fancy Cafe Roswell, New Mexico
11:25 A.M. MST
THE PRESIDENT: I need some ribs.
Q Mr. President, how are you?
THE PRESIDENT: I'm hungry and I'm going to order some ribs.
Q What would you like?
THE PRESIDENT: Whatever you think I'd like.
Q Sir, on homeland security, critics would say you simply haven't spent enough to keep the country secure.
THE PRESIDENT: My job is to secure the homeland and that's exactly what we're going to do. But I'm here to take somebody's order. That would be you, Stretch -- what would you like? Put some of your high-priced money right here to try to help the local economy. You get paid a lot of money, you ought to be buying some food here. It's part of how the economy grows. You've got plenty of money in your pocket, and when you spend it, it drives the economy forward. So what would you like to eat?
Q Right behind you, whatever you order.
THE PRESIDENT: I'm ordering ribs. David, do you need a rib?
Q But Mr. President --
THE PRESIDENT: Stretch, thank you, this is not a press conference. This is my chance to help this lady put some money in her pocket. Let me explain how the economy works. When you spend money to buy food it helps this lady's business. It makes it more likely somebody is going to find work. So instead of asking questions, answer mine: are you going to buy some food?
Q Yes.
THE PRESIDENT: Okay, good. What would you like?
Q Ribs.
THE PRESIDENT: Ribs? Good. Let's order up some ribs.
Q What do you think of the democratic field, sir?
THE PRESIDENT: See, his job is to ask questions, he thinks my job is to answer every question he asks. I'm here to help this restaurant by buying some food. Terry, would you like something?
Q An answer.
Q Can we buy some questions?
THE PRESIDENT: Obviously these people -- they make a lot of money and they're not going to spend much. I'm not saying they're overpaid, they're just not spending any money.
Q Do you think it's all going to come down to national security, sir, this election?
THE PRESIDENT: One of the things David does, he asks a lot of questions, and they're good, generally.
END 11:29 A.M. MST
Return to this article at:http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2004/01/20040122-5.html